Feels like I am always running!!!!

Well, in a very weird state of mind today…. A combination of self pity and denial..

Yes it is true, I go through these kinda phases once in a while, and always end up blaming it on ‘hormones”… easy isn’t it!!! J

It has always been very difficult for me to accept that I feel lonely, that I am human enough to feel and want company… This is not coz I think people who crave for people around are anomalous…. Its coz, I dunno, I just don’t want to acknowledge it.

Been working very hard lately…. Sometimes I think, for what… what am I trying to prove… The day I decided I am not going to take the normal direction that a science student takes… I knew it was gonna be difficult… It’s a constant struggle… like you are giving an explanation to every step you are taking…

I haven’t made many friends… not coz I cant… but because, you gotta be very careful in this so called corporate world… Every action is scrutinized, Every decision questioned…. And people are overtly nice, which scares the hell out of me… Coz I have seen what they are capable of… and I am afraid I might turn into one of them…

I like the work I am doing… but at a price isn’t it… the price of losing myself to pretense, sham and charade of everyday living….