Love-Case Study!!!

Love is a favorite topic of mine…sometimes I think I can actually publish a paper on it. No it is not because I have had enough experience… thr is never enough experience when it comes to love right…. So when I was thinking about this post…. I thought of two scenarios…

1. In love Case 1- when you feel serene, calm and composed. You are in control. You know where it is going and how happy or unhappy you would be. It is predictable but in a good way. As I said you are in control of your life but more importantly you are in control of your feelings, your emotions… You know why you feel what and you know it is ok to feel that way. The kind of love, you can come back to and know he/she is waiting for you, is just thinking about you. That there is no one else above you. There is the comfort coz you know the person would never hurt you.
2. In love Case 2- when you are hopelessly in love. When I say hopelessly I mean you don’t know what’s happening. You are sure what you feel is love, but with that comes all these other feelings. Feelings u thought never existed. Its exciting, unpredictable again in a good way. It makes you think, it makes you analyze. The person makes you happy but he also makes you sad. Its not that he has power over you, but you willingly want to surrender to him. Want him to lead you to what you can only call the hope for eternal happiness, if something like that exists. You want to be his or her slave. His/her acceptance of love makes you exuberant and the cruel words break your heart!!! You know he/she will make you very happy and if he/she makes you sad, they would of course come and comfort you.

I am sure thr wud be an overlap in both the scenario…and I am not sure if I said what I wanted to say in the right way….Being in love isn’t about control anyways!!!

Now for somebody who is used to scenario number 1…would it be difficult to come to terms with the second case or vice versa… would there be resistance/ a general feeling of helplessness coz this is technically unfamiliar territory???

For somebody who is used to unprecedented excitement would he or she settle for predictable but reassuring love??? And for somebody who is used to the first scenario would she/he be dazed and confused…

Just a thought!!!!

Disclaimer: People please don’t try to read too much into what I have written. I am not trying to demean one situation over other. This is just an observation, which I thought would lead to an interesting post.

In Love with Love.....

I have grown up on mushy songs…. When John Denver sang, “You fill up my senses….” I wished somebody would sing that to me..and it be called Priya’s song, instead of Annie’s song…. When Bryan Adams asked, “Have you ever really loved a woman?” I felt the song was exclusively written for me…. I would wonder why cant men understand we want to be loved that way, atleast I wanted to be loved that way… And thus started this long journey…journey that has still not ended!!!

I wanted to be in love…so much so that I thought I was more in love with the feeling of being in love than with the actual person… Oh, yes I wanted to be in love…. So on this so called journey I got my heart broken couple of times.. Broke couple of hearts myself…. Strangely it never put me off Love…. Every relationship ending in misery would lead me to resolve…. “No more of this”…. Of course I knew this was another of those resolutions, which would be broken soon… And at 23 I still don’t think my dogged belief in love has changed at all…. I still feel like the 15yr old… oh so in love with love… Dunno if it is wrong or right… I guess there is no wrong or right… No I don’t get into relationships with loads of expectations…. I am mature enough to even understand there is nothing called “Perfect relationship”..But my relationship with Love…yes that is perfect…. Even unconditional…. I have always loved love…. And yes it has disappointed me… disheartened me… hurt me… It also gave me lot of happiness, very cheerful thoughts…and lifetime of memories…. May be that is why I cant give up on Love….

By Popular demand...

With Alok telling me I should write more often...I think I would put up another of my poem's from the bygone era.... Beware of what a little encouragement can do..... By the way could'nt really think of a title....

Foolish mistakes are they?

That I do again and again…

Sensible head tells me a story,

It is my heart that has to be blamed,

What I want?

What do I desire?

It’s all in turmoil.

All of a sudden,

I seem to have grown up too much.

Somehow desirable to all

Without even knowing my true self.

Who am I to them?

What do they see in me?

When I don’t know myself,

How can they know me?

All alone are they,

All alone I feel too

Even in there company,

Funny, I still feel lonely.

Show them a lie

They believe.

When I show my true self

They just look past me.

So here I stand today

With this desire to be known

And to all those who tried,

Thank you from the bottom of my soul.

Private Emotions!!!!

I wrote this at one of my lowest moments. At the age of 18, it seemed to mirror what I felt. Today it still seems to epitomize the depth of emotions which was my forte then. I haven’t changed much…But somehow today I am confident enough to share it with all of you!!!

Lost And Found

One thing that makes us Human,

Sentiments, Feelings and Emotions.

And yet how many times have I asked,

To be devoid of them.

This everlasting pain.

This emptiness in my heart.

Guilty I was, gave love without gain,

That surrounds and threatens to drown,

The very essence that “I am”.

I am not me anymore,

Just breathing because I have to.

With wounds still sore,

Afraid in my heart of turning into a Nobody.

I try to reach out in the dark,

To get myself back.

Mist around me, I am blind.

I struggle, I fight to find..

The soul that I was.

The person I always wanted to be,

I am tired. I want to rest.

Then may be….

I wonder….

Would it be easy if I let go??

Banish all the memories of good and bad.

“I forgive you” and I feel at peace.

Yes I am ready to face things again.

Anxiety, Apprehension, Trepidations

Bring it on, I am ready.

One thing that makes us ‘Human’

Sentiments, Feelings and Emotions,

Its good to be reminded,

I am after all Human!!!!